Saturday, September 4, 2010

what really goes on in my head sometimes....3/26/10

Ok, so every since we met with the brain specialist and were given a fatal (at least medically speaking) diagnosis I’ve had some weird questions. Well, you could say straight up morbid questions. I am not sure who to ask so if anyone here is an etiquette expert feel free to chime in.

Keep in mind I am still convinced that God gets the final word in this. But I can’t help but wonder.

Birth announcements. Do we send them? How old does he have to make it too to send birth announcements? Do you send them if he only lives a few hours, days, weeks? What about funerals. I have been to funerals of babies who have died from SIDS but babies stillborn or who only life a few weeks? If you have a funeral who are you supposed to invite? Do you have a small funeral with just family or open it to anyone who would like to (well does anybody really like funerals let me rephrase that) would want to support David and I and our families?

Do you submit and obituary to the paper? What do I say when people ask me how many kids I have? When people who know I am pregnant now but don’t know the details of what might be to come ask me someday how my baby is?

This brings me to my favorite question of late.

How are you? To which I am always a little tempted to reply “how much do you know?” I don’t really mind the question per se, it’s just, and what do you say to people who don’t know or don’t know the latest? So if you ask me how I am doing and I get a weird look on my face please don’t take it personally. It’s just not as easy of a question to process as it used to be.

These are the somewhat weird and not necessarily spiritual things I think sometimes.

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