Sunday, August 29, 2010

ready for more bad news

Update 3/8/10

Phew…David and I met with our genetics counselor, had a follow up ultrasound and met with our doctor today. We got the results from the micro array and it was normal. What that means is that so far as they can tell, they have no idea what is causing the issues. These results still don’t rule out a recessive trait disorder but don’t rule it in either. The counselor gave us a preview of what the doctor will tell us on Friday. The doctor we are seeing on Friday is a geneticist and a specialist on brain abnormalities. His view of the MRI noted that the ventricles and the midline structures are concerning. They cannot visualize either. She told us that this is a very rare case and it makes it hard to predict any kind of prognosis but the doctor will likely tell us Gideon’s chances of survival outside of the womb and even inside the womb are very small.

The doctors and university hospital had a panel discussion regarding our case last week. Our Doctor talked to us some about this and what it means for our labor and delivery. Lots of questions were raised about the value of using fetal monitoring. Are we willing to make future pregnancies high risk to save a baby whose chances of surviving are so small?

Our doctor really won us over today. I respected her frankness and her concern about my body and the future of my health and our family. She was open about our choices and dint' try to talk us into or out of anything.

We were blessed to have been prepared in some ways for the news of today. We have to send huge thank yous to the Hansen family. First to pastor Andy who reminded us that this time will never be wasted time. If we turn our brokenness over to the Lord he will not let it come back empty. And thank you to Pete who did not hesitate to share what God had pressed upon his heart to tell me. “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding” a proverb that when broken down in my life right now means as Pete reminded me to trust God more than I trust the doctors and my understanding our situation. David and I both found ourselves again in 1st john. Specifically the first chapter that reminds us that greater is He that is in us that is in the world.

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