Monday, August 9, 2010

one of many trips to work

initially posted to facebook on Saturday, January 23, 2010 at 4:03pm

Today at my doctor’s appointment we gained more information. My blood test showed that there are possible neural tube deficits. What that means yet, I don’t know. I am going to university hospital on the 8th of February and will talk more with Doctor there to figure out what is next.

Sometimes my car just drives itself to work on its own. That was good thing this morning because I was lost in thought. I continue to pray for Gideon and that he will be healed, that he will be healthy. I pray that he won’t have to suffer with health problems or at the words of those who have less tolerance for little boys who are different. I was reminded this morning, as I have been though this process, how God, my heavenly father watched his son suffer. Suffer as those he came to save turned their backs on him, suffered on the cross. And God chose to let that suffering happen because he wanted to wash me of my sins, to free me of my chains. I am reminded that that my creator completely understands what I am going through right now.

More so, he has given me a glimpse of his heart. Though I can never truly understand the sacrifice he made, letting His son suffer and die on a cross, I am made more fully aware of his love for me as I am faced with what kind of suffering my son may face. I realize all the much greater suffering did Christ do for us. And I am comforted by my father’s love for me.

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