You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.

so, its my birthday.  31 today.  that's not even old, but i have a funny relationship with birthdays.  I am always a little bit sad and even more so reflective on my birthday.  Today has been filled with blessings as many friends have wished my happy birthday and made me feel super loved.  my son's sweet little gift, to take a nap long enough for me to post i will pay for later (like 2 AM later) is being enjoyed right now. 

though I will confess i had my moments today when i was tempted to walk the path of feeling sorry for myself, i am grateful for my friends and the gentle reminders from God, what his words were to me the last time i had a pity party.  I can share that now because Gideon is peacefully sleeping and not DEMANDING his mamma time. 

When i found myself feeling that way a few weeks ago I felt both comforted and challenged by God.  He challenged me saying

"[I] perform wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted." Job 5:9
He asked me, "did you forget who I AM? I made the mountains and i can move them.  I give the blind sight, I make the lame to walk.  I rose from the dead and I can still heal your son."  in other words.  This isn't over yet.  God is big enough to heal my son.  He is big enough to heal how much I hurt. 

He gently rebukes me saying from Isaiah 45
Does the clay say to the potter,
‘What are you making?’
Does your work say,
‘The potter has no hands’?

He reminds me that He is in control.  That he has this all worked out.  That he has chosen me, David and Gideon for a work that will glorify Him if we let him work instead of focusing on what we wish we had or what should have been.

And he comforts me from Matthew 5:4

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."  He reminds me that it is OK to grieve.  In my life right now I face some very real losses.  Though I believe that tomorrow we could wake up to a Gideon with everything right where it is supposed to be, a world with no more bandage changes and infection control, right now I have a son who is pervasively delayed.  Who cannot make eye contact with me and does not hold his head up.  It is OK to be sad for those lost things and His desire is to comfort me. 

Psalm 77:14

You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.