March 27, 2010
I have to pause to send out a huge thank you. David and I have been doing pretty well emotionally over the past few weeks. A fact that I can only attribute to what I believe are the answered prayers of friends. All of you who have been lifting us up and praying for our peace. And we have had peace. More that we really should.
I have made a decision not to make myself sad or worried. To embrace those moments of clarity and hope. I guess I really have decided no to try to make myself feel anything. Most of the time that means embracing the great peace that God has given me. Sometimes like tonight, it means not running from my sadness or grief.
Tonight we went to go see suisical Jr. a local theater production all with kids under 16 years old. They did such a great job. The dancing was flawless the music was great and man can those kids act! (Shout out to Dylan and Olivia!) I worked backstage for a couple of productions and I love it. The kids have so much energy and they are so, well, not the kids I work with to put it mildly. I was so excited during Charlottes Web to be a parent volunteer someday. So looking forward in Miracle on 34th street to my whole family being in a show together.
And it hit me during the middle of intermission. Though I will probably be a parent volunteer someday and watch one of my children on stage showing of that talent inherited from dad, I may never watch Gideon shine on the stage. Hear him talk on an on about how fun it is to be in a show, or complain that Milton made the dancing to hard or proclaim victory or Chester cheetah chewed a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese (though I am not sure I will ever claim victory of that particular vocal warm up myself…)
So I have to say again. Thank you for your prayers. I am more that certain they get me through moments like these.
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