2.15.10

Romans 8:27-29 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”




This is a verse that I am really clinging to today. We continue to believe and pray that God can heal Gideon. That he will be whole and sound physically and mentally. What I have been grappling a lot with lately is will God heal Gideon. I know that God’s love for David, Gideon and I is profound and limitless and that He longs to do great things for His children. I know that He is more than able to heal, right down to the chromosomes. I have also been given a vision for Gideon’s life. That he will do great things for the Lord.



But what if the way that Gideon ministers to others is not through his healing but through how we deal with his not being healed? What if God’s plan for Gideon isn’t that is wonders are shown through healing, but through his comfort, peace, hope and joy in his people who have no logical reason to have peace and joy? The great comfort to me here is that even if God chooses not to heal Gideon, even if he is profoundly mentally retarded, God will supply all of our needs according to His glorious riches. And through this the world will know God is love, that He truly is the greatest comforter. At the same time, only through my families and my pain will this later witness be accomplished. And the selfish streak in me really thinks that sucks. I don’t want to be a martyr. I don’t want to have to set an example of how to love the Lord even when things are tough because that means things have to be tough, and this is a tough as it has ever been and it might get worse from here.



And I remember that nothing I will suffer, no pain I will have to endure compares to Christ’s suffering on the cross. When God could have chosen to end Christ’s suffering he remained silent. And when my selfish streak rears its ugly head this is what I must cling to. It is because of that suffering that I can cling to the hope that my God is the great comforter. That he fully understands and cares about my pain and desires to draw me closer to him through it all. That though I walk through the valley of shadow (and it has been awful dark these past few weeks) his rod and staff will comfort me.